I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Boobs speak an international language.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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