im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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