you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
