he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
