they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
