no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
