oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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