But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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