Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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