I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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