White coat. Heels.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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