Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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