We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
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He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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