So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize