Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize