Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
