Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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