weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
