its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
