I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
