THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
