We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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