honey bunches of taint.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
