If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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