Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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