Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
