so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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