I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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