I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
