So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
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I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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