Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
well, you know. whores of a feather.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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