I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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