4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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