WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
