Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
