would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
