She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
