Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Randomize