everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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