If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
