im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
