After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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