My nipple is on Facebook.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
