fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
