i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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