I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
