Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
