It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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