My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
