all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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