No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
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24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
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Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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