And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
