It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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