I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize