Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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