You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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