Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
